is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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