Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize