She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Randomize