Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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