Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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