yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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