Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
The air taste purple.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
