Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Randomize
