You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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