yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
