and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
