ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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