Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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