it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
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My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
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no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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