I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Someone shit on the floor
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
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