i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
