I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
