so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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