I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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