just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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