so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure