I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize