Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture