I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Dating After Heartbreak
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?