farters have to be the big spoon...
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.