Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
