How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I don't think brook has ever known best
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
