The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
