i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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