Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
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I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
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I get a little bitchy. We all know that
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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