get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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