Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
