i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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