my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
