ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
