they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
