Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
