alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Randomize
