It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
