I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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