Whod you bang
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
It's rum buckets o'clock
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
