what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
