His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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