the wall and i were having dominance issues.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
