So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
