I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I need to calm my uterus...
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
