I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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