I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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