i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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