I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
