Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
