Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize