Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
