You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I still have a little drunk in my system
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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