I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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