After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize