Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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