to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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