What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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