she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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