I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
