i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
