The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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